I need to get some things off my chest. First, I suppose I’ll give an update. My office is still a mess and I haven’t been using it much. I keep telling myself that I’ll get back in there and start organizing it and finishing up the projects I outlined in the previous post but I need to get my websites done first.
The websites are going well and I should have them done by the end of August. I’m terrified that Amazon will find something wrong with them and close my account. Their TOS are so ambiguous that it’s hard to know if I’m doing something wrong and they change all the time which also makes it difficult to follow. I really need a 2nd income source. Again, I have to wait until I get my current websites down before I start a new project.
As for my health, I’m happy and proud to say that I have lost 25 lbs since my last post. I’m almost under 200 lbs. Unfortunately, I still have 50 lbs to lose to get to goal. Losing 25 lbs has been a struggle but I’ve kept with it and worked hard. I’m probably going to have to work even harder to lose the next 25 lbs. Not sure I’m up for it but I’ll try.
The main reason I wanted to write this post is that I’m confused about where my life is going. I’m 33, almost 34, years old. I’ve wanted to be a mom since I could remember. I remember in high school, sitting on the floor of the library and telling my best friend that I wanted to have at least 6 kids. I’m getting older and I can hear the clock ticking – loudly. I want to fall in love with an amazing man but I have no idea how to do that. I’ve never dated before. I’ve never been in a relationship. I don’t know how to be in a relationship. It terrifies me. But I’m going to have to learn if I want to have kids. I could have kids on my own as a single mother but that terrifies me as well. I want my kids to have 2 parents who love each other to look up to. I grew up with two amazing parents who have been together for 30 years and love each other so much. I probably wouldn’t mind having kids on my own if my income was more stable or if I were a homeowner. Also, I want to have kids with my future husband. I want to do it together as a team. I feel like the whole experience would be better with a husband there to hold my hand at the ultrasound or who will help pick out furniture for the nursery.
I’ll get back to the whole family and baby thing but I’m having a hard time deciding where to live. I would love to move to Florida but I’ve lived in MN my entire life and I feel like FL is so far away. I love the politics, the places and the people of Minnesota. We are a unique state and there are so many things I love about it. Except I hate the winters. That’s one thing I can’t stand – which is why I want to move to Florida. The plan was that I was going to move to Florida in the next year or two and my parents were going to retire and move to Florida with me. However, my mom just got a promotion at work and decided that she probably won’t retire for at least 5 years. My parents want to move closer to my mom’s work so her commute is shorter. Do I stay in this area or do I move to Florida by myself? I can’t decide. Then I decided to do some research and got a crazy idea in my head…
Full-time RVing! I love to travel and I especially love to camp. There are so many places in the country I have never been to such as Yosemite, San Fransisco, Yellowstone, New York City, etc. Buying an small RV and a small car to pull it would be much cheaper than buying a house. There are plenty of campgrounds that are cheap and don’t cost much to stay at. I could drive around and see the country with my dog. There are plenty of RV clubs and organizations for single women RVers so I could probably make some friends which would help with the loneliness. However, camping, heck driving cross-country by myself sounds terrifying. Especially if I end up at a campground alone. Or what if I get a flat tire or have engine trouble. I would love to be a full-time RVer but only with a partner. Which brings me back to the whole husband and family thing. I would rather date and eventually start a family in a stable home.
So, can I have it both – an RVing lifestyle and a stable home? I think I could. That doesn’t really answer the question of where I should live – Minnesota or Florida – but it makes it a little easier. Being a snowbird sounds really appealing. I could buy a house in Florida and then during the summer months, bring my camper up to Minnesota and go camping for 3-6 months – or travel the country. Or I could buy a house in Minnesota and travel during the winter – although that would be more difficult since most of the country is covered in snow & ice in the winter. Plus, Florida has no income tax which would make it a cheaper state to live in.
I didn’t think writing this post would be very helpful but it actually has. Buying a house in Florida to live in during the winter and then camping/traveling in the summer sounds like a great compromise. And, who knows, maybe I’ll meet a guy who loves to camp/travel as much as I do and we can travel around the country together.